by Tom Paxton © 1993
Vocals: Solo by Kathy
with backup by Marcia and The Chorus
12-String Guitar: Eric
When you find it in your mail for the first time, my friends,
Then you know you've turned the corner and you're getting gray.
It's a sure sign of decline; it's the start of the end.
When your wrinkles outnumber your hairs, then it's headed your way.
Modern Maturity means you're getting old.
Now you get the magazine that you hide from your friends.
Once it was the Rolling Stone; it was thrill after thrill.
Now Modern Maturity means over the hill.
When Mick Jagger has his breakfast of yogurt and bran,
Does he read the descriptions by mail of self-rising chairs?
Or you keep on rockin' and rollin' long as you can.
Then you sit in your little seat and you ride up the stairs.
I look through its pages, and what I see there
Is that everyone looks about twenty-five with white hair.
You can get polyester pants for $19.95.
You can get your grandchildren's picture on your coffee cup.
If you're tired of walking, there's a scooter that you can drive
Or a button to push if you've fallen and you can't get up.